We’re the only ones who can trace our doctrine back through Scripture to the Apostles – and no, we are not ‘landmark’ Baptists.
We were never part of the Protestant Reformation, because we were never a part of the Roman Catholic cult. Everyone else…was.
We make the best green-bean casseroles.
We don’t have the problem of dealing with the antinomian, ‘new calvinist’ and their law despising gospel sanctification because we reject them as heretics.
Our green-bean casseroles are phenomenal.
We can tell James White to hush, and not fear reprisal because he’s too obsessed with Islam to deal with Church issues.
We can call dispensationalism a cult, a heresy and every other dirty word we can think of, and the ones who believe dispensationalism won’t say a word (aka Dan Phillips, Frank Turk, Phil Johnson, John MacArthur, et al.) because they know we’re biblically right…and they are afraid to say anything because it would reveal their ignorance, and the fact that they are wrong. Yes, really.
We don’t have TGC to muck the Gospel and lead young Christians back to Rome.
Our teaching comes from the Bible, not LifeWay or the SBC.