Christian Men & Earrings

Pirates-of-the-Caribbean

by David Leach

I admit, I was curious enough to see if there was any consensus online about this issue. There isn’t. Though I did find a funny line from some unnamed wag that I wish I would have thought of first: "If God wanted you to wear earrings He would have made you a girl."

However, if there was anything near a consensus I would suppose it would be that males wearing earrings is considered a matter "indifferent." Which is to say, Scripture does not forbid it, thus it becomes a matter of taste and preference. Perhaps in the final analysis, that is true, but I confess, being the culturally bound child of the 1950’s that I am – I still have stubborn problems with the practice, which I will list for your consideration.

1. Earrings, at least in my time, were associated with effeminate behavior and homosexuality. Since these types were the first men to wear earrings in our modern culture, you will excuse me if I do not rush to the nearest jeweler to join the happy (gay?) parade. This fact alone ensures for perpetuity my absolute resolve in the matter. No earrings for me, not ever.

2. Earrings are worn to highlight facial beauty, so I am unclear why a man wishes to be thought beautiful. Maybe it’s best to be unclear about some things.

3. Historically, (not absolutely, but generally) earrings were worn by pirates and slaves. My time in the Navy was sufficient for me, and I have no desire to float about the Caribbean growling "arrrrghhh matey." And since I consider myself a slave to no man, and only a servant to God – and God does not require it or even encourage it, I am completely uninterested.

4. If you know me, and chances are likely you do if you are reading this, I am almost always reluctant to follow pop culture into it’s latest transient preferences. I freely admit that I do wonder about men and women who feel compelled to follow every new pop cultural nuance.

5. I think women are grand, super, wonderful beyond words…but I do not want to be a woman. Look like a woman. Act like a woman. Nor do I wish to be part of any process, no matter how seemingly benign and trivial, that blurs the already way too blurred lines between men and women.

6. I am uncool. I like being uncool. I work at it, I yearn for it. If wearing earrings makes one cool, God help me to be the "uncoolest" man in the world.