Thabiti Anyabwile has some words of wisdom for those contemplating bringing wrongs done to themselves to the forefront of church leadership. There are times when grievances should be brought to elders and leaders of the church (gossip, slander, talebearing, corrupt deacons, theft etc., and there times when they should not be (someone stole your parking space). Either way, what follows warrants serious consideration. – JT
Tonight at our evening service, a dear sister prayed for our members’ meeting next week. She prayed for the Lord to continue to bless us with the sweet unity and peace we’ve been enjoying for a long time now. I was moved by the prayer, and deeply grateful for the evidence of God’s Spirit among us. There are no conflicts in the church that I am aware of. There are no signs of division or unresolved disagreement. It’s peaceful. It’s sweet. It’s not easy; we’re all sinners. But we’re redeemed sinners and God is giving us such mercy. Things are good–actually, much better than good. They’re great–imperfect to be sure, but great.
That’s why it’s a perfect time to post this powerful note from Christ Is Deeper Still. Read, pray, repent if necessary.
How to wreck your church in three weeks
Week One: Walk into church today and think about how long you’ve been a member, how much you’ve sacrificed, how under-appreciated you are. Take note of every way you’re dissatisfied with your church now. Take note of every person who displeases you.
Meet for coffee this week with another member and “share your heart.” Discuss how your church is changing, how you are being left out. Ask your friend who else in the church has “concerns.” Agree together that you must “pray about it.”
Week Two: Send an email to a few other “concerned” members. Inform them that a groundswell of grievance is surfacing in your church. Problems have gone unaddressed for too long. Ask them to keep the matter to themselves “for the sake of the body.”
As complaints come in, form them into a petition to demand an accounting from the leaders of the church. Circulate the petition quietly. Gathering support will be easy. Even happy members can be used if you appeal to their sense of fairness – that your side deserves a hearing. Be sure to proceed in a way that conforms to your church constitution, so that your petition is procedurally correct.
Week Three: When the growing moral fervor, ill-defined but powerful, reaches critical mass, confront the elders with your demands. Inform them of all the woundedness in the church, which leaves you with no choice but to put your petition forward. Inform them that, for the sake of reconciliation, the concerns of the body must be satisfied.
Whatever happens from this point on, you have won. You have changed the subject in your church from gospel advance to your own grievances. To some degree, you will get your way. Your church will need three or four years for recovery. But at any future time, you can do it all again. It only takes three weeks.
Just one question. Even if you are being wronged, “Why not rather suffer wrong?” (1 Corinthians 6:7)
I certainly agree with what you are teaching here. I do admit, however, that if real ‘wrongs’ are being done (i.e. doctrinal drift, cussing from the pulpit, coarse talk from the pastor, praise band playing more AC/DC and Led Zep than Fannie Crosby…) you had best protest. Simply remaining in harmony does not mean that much. A church that is not sound doctrinally might be in perfect harmony in their unbelief. Is this a good thing? No. It all depends on the situation.
I have a suggestion. If someone has been wronged in their own eyes, take it to a mature member and let them hear the issue and counsel the wronged person. That way, a mature person decides whether an issue is important or whether it is just ego…
Well said. Unity and peace at the expense of truth is never a good idea. – JT
I agree that personal offense most often needs to be humbly subordinated to true biblical unity. I also believe that Christians in every church must pay heed to what is preached and how the church is managed and be willing to “earnestly contend” for the church to be biblical. Such issues are of a higher order than personal offenses. Martin Luther is quoted as saying “Unity is possible, Truth at all costs.” A church cannot have biblical unity if she is departing from the narrow way.
Yes, when the issue is feelings getting hurt, grow up and look at the larger picture. People need to hear the gospel. That is the big picture. If someone sits in your normal seat one week, find another seat! The church building and organization do not belong to us. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been a member or how much money we may have given. The ‘ownership’ and thin skin feelings people are not aware of the damage they do.